A Moment in 2015

I learned that I no longer want to put up with bullshit. I am finishing college as an undergrad. To be honest my college experience has been very enriching. I am thankful for every experience I’ve had. There have been some tough days along with great ones. I have learned that I am an intellectual fighter. I want to push the envelope so to speak. I enjoy forcing others to look beyond and become involved with something they may not understand. I no longer tolerate intolerance, in fact I do not want to just tolerate I want to understand others. I want to understand other cultures their food, their language, even their ways of thinking. Unfortunately, I have realized not everyone thinks similarly. As someone pointed out to me it is 2015. We are living in a time where people had aspirations. The hope for unity, more technological gadgets, little debt, living to enjoy life. Instead we continue to suffer. We suffer from racism, discrimination, ageism, sexism, and all the “isms” that are in existence throughout the world. We have not taken away the stigma associated with social deviance. We still do not take the time to understand them. We allow laws to be passed that encourage this way of thinking. We thought we made progress but fail to see the two steps back we have taken. I choose to take the blinders off. I want to see this world for what it is. I hope to gain an army of people who take the time to learn and teach others. We are in a place where unity has been broken. Sex slaves remain and we use language to demean the prostitutes that walk our corners. The homeless sleeping on the street without blankets, coats, or a place to make themselves clean. We walk by some giving a nickel or two others walk away choosing to ignore the needy. Making statements such as get a job without asking how they ended up on the side of the road. Without their side we wouldn’t realize that some suffer from mental disorders, some lost their homes to a divorce, a natural disaster, lost their jobs. The unemployed lest we forget that an income keeps the roof over our heads and the heater on. It’s below freezing out but the weather is not the only thing that is cold. Take a look around where are you? Myself I am sitting in a lobby with colleagues unaware of our futures and the influential power we hold. Just typing a way with a heater blasting hot air shielding us from the bitter cold, fridges that hold our fresh food. Friends to share our laughter and secrets with. It starts with my group we need to be aware of these issues to ensure we help those in need instead of allowing ourselves to be motivated by money. Trying to live a decent life. Well decency in my opinion isn’t just the way we are but the way we are with others those around us. Yes we may encounter people who choose to hate others that they do not understand but we must not allow them to get a rise out of us. We must learn to try our best to teach them better. Our little seed may grow or may wither but the remains will stay for some period of time. This year I am stronger and I am ready to make a difference. I am one person but I can plant an infinite amount of these seeds. I just hope more will bloom and thrive. (end rant)

-Foxxie

Your puffed up coat with brown fur at the tip
accentuates your already puffed out chest,
shielding you from whips of razor wind chill.
Your small oval glasses,
two small clouds
blind you from the glorious view.
Wind licks you up every few seconds
and you try not to bend into submission,
you fight the urge to lie down in a fetal position
and succumb to the new womb,
a cool blanket to comfort you where
no fire would ever extinguish you.

-Foxxie

Exposition

Do not make the mistake of assuming you know me. You do not define me:
You do not choose the dark clothes I wear.
You do not dictate the words I speak.
You do not visualize my twisted, contorted, thoughts.
You do not taste the exotic flavors that rip into my taste buds.
You do not walk in my seven inch heels or shoes aged for years.

Freed

You become numb and take in what you think you feel.
Forget about what you were taught.
Forget about the right and the wrong.
You possess the power of choice.
Do not allow yourself to fall between the rigid cracks of society

Climb, climb, and climb your way out.
Listen to your peers and educators but do not be afraid to question.
Do not allow them to help you tie a noose.
You decide when to put the rope around your neck
And how tight.

– Foxxie

Beaten and Bruised but not Broken

By Foxxie St. James

How do you tell someone “I love you”?
It’s like having to inform someone about a loved one’s death.
There’s that word again love…
There is no easy way to go about that.
Do we need to stay in the lines?
Why do we allow others
To misguide us,
To mistreat us,
And drain us to exhaustion?
How do you know if you love someone?
How would you know a feeling you’ve never experienced?
Love is an unforgiving path.
Why place emphasis on truth when we have no clue how we truly feel?
Some things are just better left unknown.
Too much information can compel us.

These Feelings Deep Down

I tried for years to remain hidden / He found me and stripped me down to my soul / He was the first to understand me / He was the first to make that kind of connection with me / Then I lost him / Little did I know he planted a seed which would grow rapidly / I continued to grow and make new connections / Eventually certain people became entwined / A few cut away freeing themselves killing certain parts of me / Others became consumed before I knew it I started to spray myself with chemicals to free those who bacame part of me / Among the debris I was lost / Yet another came along to pull me out of the overgrown weed / He too left, only I lost that spark / I lost who I was / I had nothing / Then I transformed and flew away / I tried again to figure out where I was meant to be / I fell into some thorns but fought my way out / Then I made one more connection with someone / Only he was different / I saw the good in him and he in me / This friendship grew into companionship from my eyes / This closeness was never that of sexual desire as I thought but instead he was like the new family / The new family I’ve lost / He opened my eyes to the other side of me / Along with him I found her / Both even though we endured a bad winter / We all were a new breed of life / So far I have not experienced more weeds / I have begun to sprout / However, with the care I have for him and her I have much more ahead / I’m growing at a slow yet steady pace / Now I am soaking in the sun and rain trying to find my balance /Alone for the first time in years

-Foxxie

I WANT

I want to wipe away the tears of pain…

I want to heal the wounds of hate…

I want to actually “see” those around me…

I want to love just to love…

I want to live in the moment…

I want nothing in return…

                             – Foxxie