A Moment in 2015

I learned that I no longer want to put up with bullshit. I am finishing college as an undergrad. To be honest my college experience has been very enriching. I am thankful for every experience I’ve had. There have been some tough days along with great ones. I have learned that I am an intellectual fighter. I want to push the envelope so to speak. I enjoy forcing others to look beyond and become involved with something they may not understand. I no longer tolerate intolerance, in fact I do not want to just tolerate I want to understand others. I want to understand other cultures their food, their language, even their ways of thinking. Unfortunately, I have realized not everyone thinks similarly. As someone pointed out to me it is 2015. We are living in a time where people had aspirations. The hope for unity, more technological gadgets, little debt, living to enjoy life. Instead we continue to suffer. We suffer from racism, discrimination, ageism, sexism, and all the “isms” that are in existence throughout the world. We have not taken away the stigma associated with social deviance. We still do not take the time to understand them. We allow laws to be passed that encourage this way of thinking. We thought we made progress but fail to see the two steps back we have taken. I choose to take the blinders off. I want to see this world for what it is. I hope to gain an army of people who take the time to learn and teach others. We are in a place where unity has been broken. Sex slaves remain and we use language to demean the prostitutes that walk our corners. The homeless sleeping on the street without blankets, coats, or a place to make themselves clean. We walk by some giving a nickel or two others walk away choosing to ignore the needy. Making statements such as get a job without asking how they ended up on the side of the road. Without their side we wouldn’t realize that some suffer from mental disorders, some lost their homes to a divorce, a natural disaster, lost their jobs. The unemployed lest we forget that an income keeps the roof over our heads and the heater on. It’s below freezing out but the weather is not the only thing that is cold. Take a look around where are you? Myself I am sitting in a lobby with colleagues unaware of our futures and the influential power we hold. Just typing a way with a heater blasting hot air shielding us from the bitter cold, fridges that hold our fresh food. Friends to share our laughter and secrets with. It starts with my group we need to be aware of these issues to ensure we help those in need instead of allowing ourselves to be motivated by money. Trying to live a decent life. Well decency in my opinion isn’t just the way we are but the way we are with others those around us. Yes we may encounter people who choose to hate others that they do not understand but we must not allow them to get a rise out of us. We must learn to try our best to teach them better. Our little seed may grow or may wither but the remains will stay for some period of time. This year I am stronger and I am ready to make a difference. I am one person but I can plant an infinite amount of these seeds. I just hope more will bloom and thrive. (end rant)

-Foxxie

Waves

Seasick / I look to the left darkness / I look to the right it’s almost as if I can see the light / for a moment there is no ocean / no waves, no motion / Seasick / rocking back and forth / I lose sense of direction / My body floats freely into space / high but still Seasick / I dive / I crash into the deep blue / unable to breathe, unable to speak, unable to see / I look to the right nothing, I look to the left nothing / Where did the light go? / No senses. / The sea is sick…

             – Foxxie

Secrets

Everytime I close my eyes I see your face / I see the pain in your eyes along with the anger / I study your lips so perfect shaded by your 5 o’clock / I see that perfect skin / When I think about your body I just want to hold you / I want to wrap my arms around you, pull you in tightly, and never let you go / I love your scent I could take it in deeply and never forget it like a bloodhound / When I open my eyes it’s dark / There is no sensation just the thought of wanting you close / I begin to shed tears but wipe them away quickly, reminding myself it’s all over / I remain silent in my state of solitude / Where I can only hear the chaotic thoughts yelling no don’t go

        – Foxxie

The Big WAI?

So I don’t have the drop dead looks…
So I’m not all that rich…
So I’m not your typical guy…
I am smart…
I am funny…
I bend gender roles at times…
I know how to listen to others…
I am loving…
Guess what, I have a many internal qualities that can not be taken away without my permission…

I am reflecting on a lot of things right now. The last thing I stated was “I am loving”. So powerful in many ways, I am…I love my family, my friends, my lovers, myself. These people all have an impact in my well being today. Sure lovers have come and gone, my real friends remain by my side, my family will always be my family. Each have their lessons and I am blessed to have there input to make me a stronger me. Over the years all of these people have helped me gain insight to who I really am. It’s not until recently I myself have tapped into discovering who I am.

I have gone through many good and bad times…
I will continue to experience these ups and downs…
& I am perfectly fine with that…
It all brings me closer to who I am…
With that I say to this life of mine “bring it” I am ready

             -Foxxie

I WANT

I want to wipe away the tears of pain…

I want to heal the wounds of hate…

I want to actually “see” those around me…

I want to love just to love…

I want to live in the moment…

I want nothing in return…

                             – Foxxie